My own experience

So, I was always a kid that believes in God and all, but I did hit that phase where I had lots of questions, and I looked for the inconsistencies. I never really found any and kept my stance as a believer.  That being said, it didn’t seem to deter me in going down the wrong path and at times saying things like “fuck goin to heaven, I’m hell bound.” Or ” I ain’t scared of hell.”. I really thought I believed this.  Now, the conventional story about how somebody came to believe in God 100% is usually some uplifting coincidence.  I could also tell you plenty of these experiences that I’ve had, but instead I’ll tell you about my trip to hell.  There was nothing very different about this day, other than the substances involved didn’t seem to be on par with what they usually were.  After taking two I told my buddy to try em and he agreed that these pills were not like the ones we usually got.  After several hours of feeling weird I finally started to come back to myself.  I had a dilemma though.  I still had several left but I didn’t really want them.  After a little more debate I said ef it and went ahead and swallowed em.  I had quit smoking weed a year or so prior to this but this night I would end up smoking.  And it was actually the weed that kicked it all off.  After hitting it I got stuck in the floor because the tile was a diamond in a square, which was a never ending pattern that I couldn’t hardly break my gaze of.  Once I finally did, I looked up at my four friends standing around me, and as I would look from one to the next the facial hair from this one would go to that 9ne until they all became strangers to me.  By this time I was scared because I didn’t know anyone who was around me and the fear almost beat me right then and there.  I started to panic, then all at once I started to spin and leave as a soul from my body, but at the last second I got a grip and held on.  This may not have been the best thing. After an unexpected, extremely hard trip, I couldn’t hold on anymore and my friends tell me I went cold fish.again I was ripped from my body but this time I couldn’t hold on as I was spinning and bouncing all over the place. The next thing I know I’m in the darkest, blackest place I’ve ever seen, or couldn t see.  As I sat, terrified, all of a sudden a huge pale head appeared SCREAMING something just wailing and snapping at me. And it was like something hit me so fucking hard and I just melted into a puddle of fear. Then all at once it would start over again and again and again. The only memory that I had was just enough to know that I was fixing to repeat the same cycle and that this would be my fate for the rest of eternity! Now I really melted into a puddle of fear. All I remember is thinking about how long forever is! Shit! It’s never ending! As the face would appear with that horrible screaming. It was the first glimpse I had ever had at the fact that time doesn’t really exist. There’s an infinite number of eternities within the span of a single second. Anyways, back to despair. As I was feeling the sickness sinking in of my fate, all of a sudden, as if I willed it from sheer will, I saw a vision of a hand. MY HAND! It was reaching up and out of the pit toward a huge mountain of clouds! And I was just screaming “please help me!” because I saw this huge man in midst of the clouds just sitting and watching. While I’m reaching with everything that Ive got, pleading! My spirit sinks lower than it already had as the huge man didn’t reach back. I just remember thinking ” oh no, God didn’t even try to reach for me.” It was almost like that painting on that church ceiling. So back to the put I go. I withstood the abuse once more and had a second chance, but, same results. I had given up but facing eternity in this damned place I found it in me to reach one more time, but this time there was a blue, I don’t know, energy like thing where the man once was and then there was a series of events that went on to where I ended up back in my body at my friend’s house. I was never the same after that and wouldn’t even tell people for a long time for fear that if I explained it just right, they would instantly wind up there. Truly, by far, the worst thing I e ever experienced. And in hind sight they took it easy on me. I suppose that the man I was reaching for in the clouds was symbolism telling me that man, no matter his stature, can not help you in these days, therefore, reach only for God because man can’t help you. I hope this helps someone and I pray no one ever has to experience this to see that God is all around all the time and he loves you.